When the mercury drops without mercy, and snow covers the ground, there are days when I wonder why I live in a province so well known for its unforgiving winters.  I’m not someone partial to cold, I don’t particularly embrace winter sports, so what on earth am I doing living in Saskatchewan?  And that’s not all – born in Ontario, I’ve also lived in Manitoba.  It’s like a buffet of cold weather.

Now before I had kids, cold days were a perfect time to cuddle up with a book, a quiet activity, or a movie.  It was nice to meet a friend over a steaming cup of coffee, especially if we could sit somewhere with a view of what I really love about winter – the beauty of a world covered in sparkling white.

Ah.  There it is, the reason why I stay and stay, though winter challenges me every year.  But now, with two young kids, how do I get from November to April without losing my mind?  I’m not going to pretend that it’s always easy, or that there aren’t times when my imagination fails and tempers run short.  We’re human – little and big, we have our limitations.

Most days go by pretty quickly though, and we just seem to find a rhythm that works.  I find it helpful to forget about facing a whole winter cooped up.  That gets scary fast, my friends.  No, for me, it’s all about taking things a day at a time.

When we feel slow and quiet, we read or build with blocks or building sets.  When they want to be close to me, but I have work to do, we gather at the kitchen table.  It’s become the space where we get to be creative together.  My laptop is parked there for writing, and each child has a generous stash of crayons, markers, paper, colouring books, activity books, and other supplies.  My oldest has more books and markers, of course, but the littlest has a magnetic drawing board and small chalkboard to use as well.  We keep everything handy in a hutch nearby so anyone can grab a project and come to the table to share creative time.

Rotating through our toys seems to help – my kids love toys that engage them and allow them to play in different ways, so we try to keep this in mind when buying.  Swords and costumes help them role play, toys that encourage open play help them have fun in different ways each day.  My youngest loves anything to do with food, so loves her play food, tea set, coffeepot and sandwich fixings.  Sometimes she cooks in her kitchen, other days they picnic on a blanket in the family room.  They also both love to help in the kitchen, so we got them matching personalized “Head Chef” and “Sous Chef” aprons for Christmas.  And if all else fails, we build forts or hiding spots out of pillows, or even just a big jumping pile for them to take turns leaping into.

There are some great ideas over on the Fisher-Price site in their Play & Learn Family Activities section that I can’t wait to share with my two kids, especially my youngest.  At three, she’s still home with me a fair amount, and loves anything new I can bring to the table for pretend play.

My final solution to cabin fever is to get out of the “cabin”.  Yes, we play, we pretend, we read, we snuggle but once in a while it’s time to brave the cold and go back to my roots.  I said I loved to spend time over a cup of coffee, didn’t I?  And I still do.  Only now my coffee dates are either or both of my kids, chairs pulled up close with milk and a cookie in front of them.  They love to be treated like grownups, and I love to have the time with them.  And amazingly, we all come home happier and ready to play.

What’s your favourite way to keep your kids busy when the weather outside is grim?  Do you find the winter days longer than summer?  Any survival tips to share?

Disclosure: I am a Fisher-Price Mom and I receive special perks as part of my affiliation with this group. The opinions on this blog are my own.

Sometimes timing is everything.

Sometimes crazy and brilliant come together in a memorable way.

Like this week, when I felt a special kind of goofy descend upon our family.  It didn’t last long, but for four days it felt like I was spinning plates.  Just a lot of things going sideways or adding trouble to an already busy routine:  the babe starting a new daycare, the temperature dropping to nearly minus 50 degrees with windchill, school buses being cancelled.

Add in a quarterly bookkeeping appointment that always has me filing and organizing at the last minute, and a little sprinkle of solo parenting for four days and I fervently wished for a cloning machine.  I couldn’t seem to be everywhere at once.  If the babe was tired at home, I simultaneously had to be waiting outside the school doing a rare pickup because of the cold weather.  Showering in the morning was done in a rush while two kids played and drove each other crazy nearby.  I couldn’t let any of it go, because it had nowhere to fall.  So I hung on and waited for Thursday to end, and thank God, end it did.  With a PVR taping a single, solitary minute of a show I’d wanted to watch for a week.  Thanks, technology, you can bite me.

It wasn’t all crazy, not at all.  In the quiet moments, I was doing work I enjoyed and writing things that mattered to me. So no complaints but some days I just wonder what the hell is going on.

And I haven’t even gotten to the part about one of the first mornings when, at 6 a.m., my son and I heard a sound so loud from outside it sounded like part of the house broke off, or something important popped in my head.  Buried in pillows and blankets as we were, him having already made the early excursion down the hall to my room, we couldn’t tell where the sound had come from, nor what it had been.  But I know we both jumped a foot, and then could barely breathe.  And then my seven year old comes out with it: “I know how to call 911 if someone breaks in, Mom!”

Well, that’s a relief.

But to think that either of us have to be breathless in the dark, waiting to hear something, anything that would tell us what we had heard the first time, and both thinking the worst, well, that’s a gigantic mental twist that I’d rather not live through again.  I downplayed whatever I could for him, told him I was listening to see if his sister had fallen out of bed (lie, lie, lie), but my heart hammered in my chest.

We survived, apparently it was some random mystery noise that is as of yet unexplained.  We tiptoed down the stairs trying not to wake his sister, or, you know, clutch at each other and fall down them.  I’m plenty brave about a lot of things, but this isn’t one of them.  The babe woke shortly after, and we had barely calmed down before the morning routine hit us and we were off and running.  You know, with my heart still pounding and basement still unchecked.  It’s dark down there, you know.  I had to wait and check it later.  (Oh come on, I’m not a total pansy, it’s just had this happened any other time in fifteen years there would have been 200 pounds of husband, 200 pounds of dog and/or an alarm system to keep me from worrying.)

But this one day, nada.

In the middle of all this random silliness, I happened to come across something I had never heard before.  And I like it so much I’m going to create a category for it here on the blog, because sometimes I need to be able to write about random, crazy stuff and you’re going to want to say it.

Yeah, you are.  And so am I.

Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot.

You read that right.

I’m sure I’ll soon have a little more W.T.F. to share with you.  The world is full of it – if I’m not living it, I’m reading about it and rolling my eyes.  And most of the time it’s not worth losing sleep over, but you have to be able to share it, laugh about it or just go…seriously???

Here.  Have a little W.T.F.

You’re welcome.

Your turn!  Tell me about your week – any W.T.F. you’d like to share?  What went off the rails for you?

Sugar,

Oh, honey honey

You are my candy girl

And you got me wanting you

~ Sugar, Sugar by The Archies

If you’ve ever had a little look around this blog, you may have noticed the long running tagline at the top that says “Sweet cravings and salty language”.  If ever I were to be accused of having vices, those two would probably top the list.  (Any of you waving your hands to mention my impatience and my tendency to stay up past midnight for no good reason can just zip it.)

Well, anyway, it’s no secret that I love me some sugar.  I stir it into my coffee, my tea and sprinkle it on my toast.  I like to indulge in public, and sneak it when no one is looking.  I once had a friend out me at a dinner party, to a room full of people I was meeting for the first time, that I like to sneak chocolate with my first cup of coffee, yes at 6 a.m.  That’s how you get a name for yourself, right there.  I also am known around certain circles (hello, Twitter!) as having a deep love of all things chocolate, especially Toffifee.  I am also a great enabler.

I named my blog for my love of coffee and chocolate, and one of my first published pieces was entitled “Chocolafession”.

Sugar and I are hot and heavy.

However.  There comes a time in every sugar lover’s life when they wake up and realize they aren’t 25 anymore, and that perhaps fueling themselves purely on sweet things is not just silly, it’s actually pretty foolish.  I can’t say I mind being known for my sweet tooth and chocolate cravings, but I admit, it makes me crazy that I have such a hard time saying no.  If it’s in the house, I want it.  My mood is instantly improved by it.  (And to be honest, writing this is making me want it badly enough my teeth hurt.)

And I just gave in.

See?  That’s what makes me so annoyed.  Don’t get me wrong, I will always love being the girl who loves her sugar, but I want to enjoy it on my terms.  Giving control of my brain over to something that doesn’t even have one doesn’t sit right with me.  And knowing that it’s a habit that must be affecting my energy, and worse, my health irritates me even more.  I’d rather enjoy my sweets when I really want something, and am taking the time to savour it than just using sugar and chocolate as easy fuel when I’m busy.

I’ve been invited to take part in something special that is starting up right away, and I would love some company if any of you have been looking for a way to battle this particular vice.  I’m going to dive in with the ladies from Domestic Diva and join their 28 Day Sugar Detox.  There are a few reasons why I think this will be a good way to move forward – first, I hate deprivation and just quitting cold turkey doesn’t work for me and second, I know enough about one of the founders of Domestic Diva to know that she’s smart and down to earth about this stuff.  And I know how busy she is, and that she has two kids similar in age to my own!  So I know she understands how busy some of us are, and how hard it is to juggle something new in.  She’s living it!  But she’s also been where I am and has made good changes to her own life with the resources they’ll be sharing.  I love the idea of learning why the hell I’m craving sugar sometimes all the time, and how to get to a point that I feel nourished and satisfied enough that I don’t feel the sugar crazies the way I do now.

You can check out all the details on their website, along with many more posts and articles they have been creating.  We’re starting Monday, Jan 23rd, and going for four weeks of learning, trying out suggestions, sharing our experiences with others and finally making the move to get sugar off our “vice” list.

Sweet wishes to you if you decide to come join in!

Disclosure:  I’ve been invited to join the 28 Day Sugar Detox compliments of the ladies of Domestic Diva.  However, I volunteered to share my story beforehand, and to share my thoughts after all is said and done because I really believe they have wisdom worth sharing.  All opinions are my own.

 Photo credit:  Jade Gordon

Taking part in SOC (Stream of Consciousness) Sunday:

It’s funny how our minds work.  I’ve been doing some thinking about this blog, and my writing, and feeling badly that I haven’t been taking the time to write here.  And my mind turns that into “I haven’t been writing much, I should fix that.”

But the truth is, while I may have gone a bit quiet here in the last few weeks of last year, I was actually doing writing that made me very happy. I started blogging for the Electrolux Canada blog and have had plenty of fun brainstorming ideas and planning out the content I want to feature each week, then writing and editing each post.  And while I think I haven’t been sharing much, the truth is that over there I was writing about life, kids, entertaining, cooking, being organized for the holidays, surviving holidays with the kids and a little fun holiday wine pairing.  I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it and have great things planned for the next couple of months.

I also have written two pieces for the Barbie I Can Be The Voice campaign, and these have been such great explorations of emotional development and raising a daughter to know her own mind – I’m the better for having written them.  I’ll be keeping them close to my heart as my daughter grows.

So it appears it’s all in my head.  My personal blogging slowed down during a busy time, but my writing work has picked up and that’s something to be thankful for, not regretful.  I’ve been coming up with ideas, plotting out content, and writing my heart out here and there.  I’m hoping you were reading some of these other pieces, but I promise to keep adding more here as well.

Perspective is a funny thing, isn’t it?  Oh, and by the way, I can promise more writing here but my freelance work isn’t going to slow down anytime soon.  I’m actually looking to add more as I add more work hours to my plate.  So if occasionally I have to balance that with what I do here, I’m going to enjoy it instead of worrying about it.

Whew.  Has this ever happened to you?  Did you think it was writer’s block or that you were stuck?  Sometimes I forget everything else I’m doing – you too?

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post as hosted by All Things Fadra. It’s five minutes of your time and a nice way to let the words flow.

Want to try it? Here are the rules…

Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
Link up your post on Fadra’s blog over at All Things Fadra.
Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

“Sit on the couch, please.”

Such a grown up tone for a small voice, but she knows it helps me take her seriously, helps to set the mood.  She has something to show me, and it’s clear I’m to pay attention.  Amazing how a three year old knows how to set the stage so all the players know their lines, isn’t it?

She patters to the centre of the room in bunny slippers that are standing in for ballet shoes – in her mind, there is nothing to separate the pink nosed creatures from real ballet slippers.  What, yours don’t have ears?

I had asked if she wanted help putting on her tutu, and was held off with a hand and a quick answer.

“No, Mama, I got big and now I can do it all by myself!  Watch this.”

Sigh.  For her, every change is a celebration, hard evidence of babyhood left behind.  I celebrate them too, but certainly in a much more bittersweet way.  She will need me for other things, so why be sad that she doesn’t need me for this?

She doesn’t need me for this.

And that’s the line that threatens me lately – with my youngest having turned three, I can’t really say I have any babies in the house.  And although I commonly refer to her as “the babe”, the reality is she is growing swiftly into the girl she will be.  I am starting to see who she will be, I see her gaining strength, coordination, sly ways of communicating that don’t come naturally to toddlers.  No, she is exploding into girlhood, elbow dimples be damned.  (God, I will miss the elbow dimples.)  She is bold, chatty, strong, sweet, and so clever.  We try so hard to do more than fawn over her looks, knowing we don’t want her to think we only value the precious curve of her cheek or her silky hair.  But beauty she has in spades, so we will just love it all and be happy that her looks come with fiery fearlessness and keen thought.

I sit where I’m directed and wait as she fusses to straighten the pink tulle, and brush the hair out of her eyes.  And then the magic happens – there is a ballerina in the room.  Maybe only the tutu would give it away, but I’m treated to a performance with as much heart as any other more easily recognized.  She moves from each piece of furniture to the next, holding on as though grasping a barre, extending one leg behind her.

Ballet is her special thing, you see.  Months ago she started showing off what she called “her moves” and they were pretty impressive for a two and a half year old.  Where did she learn it?  No one knows.  Yes, a few shows have a bit of ballet in them, but she has a big brother and not many would ever get screen time.  And she sees plenty of other things she doesn’t adopt and develop a sweet affection for.

And just like that we are done.  I’m charmed, and heartbroken all at once.

“Bravo, bravo!”  I clap for her and she bows, again and again.

A grand finish.  I carry her to the next room and breathe in her silky hair, and pretend time isn’t completely slipping through my fingers.

Anyone know if that actually works?

January.  A new year.

How did we get here so quickly?  Forgive me, but I’d like to know where November and December went.  I feel like I got ready for back to school, zipped to a conference, then fell into birthdays and holidays and what can be best described as static.  Like when a radio isn’t quite tuned in correctly and while you know the station you’re trying to find is in there somewhere, you can’t get through all the chatter to find it.

“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”
― Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God

For me, 2011 was definitely a year that asked questions.  If it wasn’t nailed down or attached to my body by skin and bone, I wondered at it.  Never have I felt so fulfilled, yet restless at the same time.  No complaining here, my life is too full of wonder, of blessings, to ever dare raise a complaint, but what a mental unwinding.  Questioning areas of my life is something I do all the time – should I change things, add things, let go of things?  Should I move on, stay?  Should we change where we live, change neighbourhoods, homes, cities?

I questioned until my head spun and my teeth nearly rattled.

And then the end of the year came along, and I find myself taking a deep breath.  I am hoping that 2012 is a year that answers.  I’ve grown weary of the questions, the restlessness.  I long to find the life I know that is waiting for me and settle into it the way we do into a very large, soft chair.  And that’s the really funny thing about people like me, and maybe you too – I’m so convinced a better life is out there waiting, that I’m willing to sometimes be halfway miserable today so I can imagine it, aim for it.

However.  There comes a time in one woman’s life where it all gets a little tiring.  That house, this house?  That city, this city?  Who cares?  Deep down, I do, of course, but sometimes you have to worry about things like soaking up your children while they are still small.  Making tea in the afternoon instead of coffee, because why are we rushing anyway?  Breathing through discussions that would normally strain nerves.

Comfort and joy is a phrase we hear often through the holidays; a line from a song, a sentiment that scrolls across a card.  I’m going to take it from that song, that card and tuck it away to bring out when I need to find some direction, when I need reminding that I can find it right here, in words, in books, in my children’s endless wonder.

This year, wherever I am, whatever I do, I know what I really am looking for are comfort and joy.  Comfort in a life that suits me, rests my weary head, cheers my soul.  Joy in the little bits of the day that knock me over when I slow down enough to see them.  Stop setting ideas aside and write it all out – the silliness, the wonder, the frustration, the laughter, the joy, the weariness.  When my head gets too busy, I stop letting go when I write.  I can write anything I need to, but this little corner, my corner, goes quiet.

So I’m slowing down.  I have so many things to write, and write I will.

So this is my wish for us all:

May the new year bring us answers to our questions, comfort to our hearts and joy to our spirits.

Did last year ask or answer questions for you?  What do you wish for in the new year?

Photo credit:  Mario Gonzaga via sxc.hu

So how is everyone’s holiday shopping going?

I admit I’ve turned to doing more and more shopping online – perhaps you read my last post about WagJag, and how online is becoming easier with two little kids in the house.  Well, since then my husband slipped on some ice and cracked a bone in his arm so I am feeling the crunch. Suddenly two weeks just doesn’t seem enough time to do it all!

I’m thinking there may be others in the same situation, and seeing as I regularly chat with people from all over, I’m going to do something a little different today.  I’m visiting Wagjag again, but I’ve already told you about about some of my favourite deals in the Holiday Shoppe they’ve set up.  So today I’m going to tell you my favourite choice from each of my favourite cities’ current deals.  We are the nomads after all, and each city has its own great set of deals that are continuously updated.  So I’m going to have a little peek around and see what some of my friends and family might be able to enjoy (or what I could sneak, then take advantage of when visiting the city in question!)

So lovelies, here we go.  Treats for you, or those on your gift list, wherever they might be.  WagJag, across the country!

In my lovely hometown of Saskatoon, I think my top pick would be the Dermakore Chocolate Therapy Body Kit.  I mean, come on people, pampering and chocolate?  A match made in heaven.

And if I were in Calgary, as we’ve discussed lately, I think I’d be taking advantage of  the On-Site Computer Service from Tech 2 You Computer Solutions.  Some days I just feel like I need a magic wand to wave over my computers.

In Winnipeg, I’d be checking out this photography shoot, hands down. In Edmonton, this pedicure and foot massage package sounds heavenly. In Vancouver, you’d find me out for a three course dinner at Divino Wine Bar.  And my friends in Ottawa, this golf and wine tasting package sounds like a beautiful getaway for you or someone hard to shop for. And oh, Toronto area friends, you can find all kinds of deals depending on where you are located, but from all the spa treats, fitness classes and gift items I think I would choose these cooking classes.  A very cool experience type gift I’d love to receive!

So there you have it!  A little peek at all that WagJag has to offer around the country.  Consider one of the deals for someone on your list (many expiry dates are very generous so you have time to use them after the holidays) or treat your tired self once you are done shopping!  If you want to get to know WagJag better, pop by their Holiday Shoppe and check out their Facebook page.  Watch for details on their Win What You Buy Contest – just click the logo below!

Have fun shopping, wherever you are!

Disclosure:  I am participating in an influencer program with EverythingMom to explore and experience WagJag for the holidays. Although I have been compensated for my time, the opinions expressed are, as always, my own.

Well, it’s that time of year again.  Time to do all my shopping early, get everything wrapped in time to ship by December 1st…wait, what?

So last week was a bit crazy, juggling work and solo parenting and coffee – oh, I was in fine form.

It’s easy to tell when you are running a bit off your normal pace, isn’t it? I can always tell the difference between smooth sailing and choppy waters, and oh, my boat was rocking.  Two kids, two businesses, husband in the US for the week – did I mention my sitter went back to university in September?

But it was all for good reason, and I was balancing it all until Thursday rolled around and I dropped something messy.  I can’t think now what it was because all I remember is letting out an “oh sh*t!” in front of my almost-three year old.  Sigh.  Of course.  You would think at the rate my husband swears that he would be the one teaching the kids these lovely words (and in fact, he inspired this post about the “f” word when my son was younger.)

This time, though, it was me, and sure enough, her eyes twinkled and she chirped it back at me.  I bit my lip and started to correct myself and distract her, but she was having none of it.  Nope, she gave me a smirk and with a dimple she chortled “Ha ha – Mommy, that sh*t makes me laugh.”  It was all I could do not to burst out laughing.  Off she went, and I hoped we were done.

But of course we weren’t – and you’ve all been down this road, right? The next day she couldn’t get her ski mitts back on by herself while we were driving.  She was in her carseat, struggling, and I had to ask her to wait because I was driving.  She insisted on doing it herself…and then I heard:

“Sh*t!”

Sigh.  I tried pretending to misunderstand her by asking if she’d heard me say “sit” the day before.  Nope.  Was it “skit”?  Nope.

She’s nobody’s fool.  She knows what she heard.

Oh well.  There are far worse things she could have repeated and I haven’t heard it since, so I’m crossing my fingers and running my lines. Hopefully next time I drop something I’ll be able to save myself with an “Oh, sugar!”

Swear jar, anyone?

Photo credit:  stock.xchg

Just wanted to take a moment to thank any of you who came to read me over at the Electrolux Canada blog these past couple of weeks. I’ll be writing a weekly blog post for them and am really looking forward to sharing all I have planned!  Today is Sunday, which means a new post is probably going up tomorrow…ooh, can’t wait!  It’s a good one too.

They were kind enough to officially introduce me here, and then I started off with my first post, called “The Sweet Life“.  I confessed to plenty of shortcomings, shared a bit of what I love and what I think about this whole business of waking up and realizing that a whole household is revolving around me.  (Well, not just me…but you know what I mean.)

I love being able to create the life we want, and make it fit our dreams, our goals.  But I know we’ve met damn near every hurdle along the way, and if we haven’t hit it yet, I’m sure it’s coming.

So here’s what I think about the whole “be more amazing” thing.  I think it’s an awesome way to acknowledge that what we do already is impressive.  All the planning, the effort, the energy – it’s daunting and enormous and I love being part of something that says “it’s already fantastic”.

Looking for ways to do more, make it easier, enjoy more – all right up my alley.

So I hope you’ll continue to read and enjoy what I’m sharing over on the Electrolux Canada blog!  I promise to try to help you do more, make it easier and enjoy more (and I’ll share where I’m succeeding and slipping up along the way!)

Raise a glass, or a coffee cup, whatever you have with me, won’t you?

Cheers to being even more amazing.

Because I love the idea that we already are, where we are today.

Don’t you?

Disclosure:  this post was written by me, without any prompting from Electrolux Canada.  This one is just for fun.  

Photo credit:  stock.xchg

I’ve been looking through pictures from my son’s birthday.

He turned seven recently, and I’m still so amazed by him.  I know we all go through that initial swoon period where we are floored by our ability to create these small people.  I’m sure I’m supposed to be quite over it by now, and trust me, there are moments when I am so over it.

But those are the moments when I forget all the good, all the special things that I would never stop to notice without him.  With him by my side, I pay attention to details, I wonder at the world and I laugh more at silly things.

I could write a list of a hundred things that I love about him.  When I write about him, you can tell what he means to me.

He’s smart and sweet, funny and honest.  He’s sensitive and stormy, loyal and curious.  He’s handsome, and can already knock me down with giant hugs.

That’s just ten things and I’m sure you’re already rolling your eyes. So what I will tell you today is one of my favourite things about him.

Out of the blue it will come, sometimes mid-conversation, sometimes out of the silence.

And it’s so sweet, so often, that we sometimes forget how enormous it really is.  We are raising him with love, and we tell him we love him, but there is something beautiful happening right before our eyes.

He loves, on his own terms.

He says “I love you” all the time, and he says it first.

And not just once in a while, it’s all day long. “I love you more, no backs.” “Je t’aime.” “Love you.”

Anything I could write about how it makes me feel to hear it would fall short.  We love to know our kids can love like that, don’t we?  Their love is sweet and pure.

But what I love best, is how willing he is to say it first.  And I wish upon him a future where he doesn’t lose that confidence, that security in the people he loves.

I want him, as a teenager, to be able to say it first.  I hope for him, as an adult, to tell the people around him what they mean to him with ease.

I want him to love with his heart wide open.

Imagine, if we all did.

Photo credit:  stock.xchg

Imagine you could go anywhere in Canada…anywhere.  I’m talking about a $10,000 dream Canadian vacation.

Where would you go?

My mind races at the thought.  I love all points east and west and can name off people and places I’d love to see all over Canada.  My love for this country could be measured out by the number of places I’ve lived – add a generous dose of “I’d also like to visit x, y and z” and you have yourselves a true Canadian wanderer.

Born in Ontario, raised in Saskatchewan only to flee to BC, return home, then east to Winnipeg, then back to Saskatchewan and still eyeing tempting possibilities…oh yes we are – stay tuned!  The Mochas are on the move again!

I can’t help it.  I love the cities, the lifestyle, the terrain of so many areas that I can’t help but want to see them all.

What part of our beautiful country fascinates you?  Is there anywhere you’ve always wanted to explore?  A place you want to take your kids?

There is a contest that could help you make that dream come true.  And being the nomad I am, I figured I would share it.

CentrSource has a Dream Big Canada Contest with a grand prize that would put a travel voucher in your hot little hand.  Imagine winning, and getting to choose!  I love the people I know out east, I will always love BC and my friends in Vancouver, but I would be booking tickets for the East Coast and taking my family to all the places I have yet to explore on the Atlantic shore.  Halifax, PEI, Newfoundland and Labrador…they all tempt me.

Want to enter the Dream Big Canada Contest?

The grand prize is $10,000 Dream Big Canada travel voucher to go to any dream location within Canada.  And there are 8 weekly secondary draws for $500 gift cards to be won.  Oh, in case you were worried, if you win one of those lovely weekly draws, you are still eligible to win the grand prize.  There are great offers available to you just for entering!

Here’s some of the details you’ll want to know about the Dream Big Canada contest:

• Contest runs October 11, 2011 – December 11, 2011
• Grand Prize $10,000 Canada Vacation Voucher
• 8 weekly secondary prizes of $500 gift cards to be won
• Travel Voucher must be redeemed between January 1, 2012 and December 31, 2012
• Open to all of Canada including Quebec {age of majority}

Disclosure:  I received compensation for writing this post.  But as always, the opinions on this blog are my own.

Photo credit:  stock.xchg

There are pumpkins everywhere, scarecrows and ghostly creatures share space in each room and I’ve been sneaking Halloween candy for a week.  Fall garlands with orange and red leaves add to the décor, and we are happily immersed in October fun once again.

This year, we’ve added a small fenced in area on the lawn complete with a tombstone and bones, and are having fun juggling spooky and cute decorations.  With a toddler and a seven year old, we need to find a balance!

One of the funny things about being a parent is creating new holiday traditions for your new family while reminiscing about everything that made holidays special when you were a kid.  Somehow I am the grown-up, buying costumes and candy, but I can’t help but remember candy in pillowcases, and the desperate glee of sorting through my haul of goodies.

I might still have that sweet tooth.  Okay, fine, I’m known for it, and even though I’m sneaky, my kids are showing signs of their own.  So we eat lots of healthy, fresh food, brush our teeth often and we’re all the happier for our treats.

We have always purchased and handed out candy, even before having kids.  It just felt like we should get into the spirit of things, and we loved seeing the costumes.  Back then we bought whatever happened to catch our eye for candy, and we always bought lots – heaven forbid we run out!

Then we started our own family, and the first year we took our son trick or treating opened our eyes.  He was just eleven months old, and we took him to the homes of just a few favourite neighbours.  Those neighbours brought their wee ones to our door as well, and we were faced with a quick realization – none of these babies or toddlers had tried nuts, nor did we want them to quite yet.  And while none of them needed more than just a taste of this or that, we figured out a plan.  From then on, we bought candy labelled peanut-free, and prepared little bags ahead of time for the smallest of our visitors.  That way, when they got home, their parents would be able to tell which candy came from us.

Now our kids are older, but new concerns still keep us buying peanut free.  Good friends have kids with allergies, and we figure the least we can do is keep up with the nut-free purchases and make our contributions to the holiday safe for all.

This year, we are taking a trip back down memory lane and have a bowl full of Allan candy to hand out.  It’s funny, I can remember the logo from when we would buy candy as a kid – two “L”s side by side looking like little rabbit ears – remember?  They’ve been around for 77 years, and who doesn’t remember Big Foot candies from when they were kids?  That’s a 25 year old memory, friends.  Very cool.

I’m always happy for the chance to get to know a company better – if I remember a name from when I was a kid, and I know they are peanut-free and made in Canada, you can bet I’m going to feel good about making them part of what we do for Halloween.  And that’s what making new family traditions is all about – careful choices that make the holiday all about what matters to you, your partner and your kids.

Our son has an October birthday, and for the last two years has chosen a Halloween theme for his party.  We love it as it gives us good reason to decorate even more and keep it festive for 2 or 3 weeks instead of just a day.  And loot bags get easier when we make them into little trick or treat bags, complete with a few sweet treats.

Halloween will find us handing out handfuls of candy, one of us heading out with the kids to knock on a few favourite doors.  My husband has plans to add more decorations to the front entry as well as to play spooky music through a nearby window.  Our youngest is turning three next month and this will be the first year she really understands all the excitement.  I can’t wait.

And that stash of Sour Grape Slices in my desk?  It’s all in the name of research, friends, and a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

This will be a fun week for us – hope you are enjoying all your Halloween preparations, and that your candy thieving is stealthy.  If you need some inspiration, I’m available for consultations.

Happy Halloween!

~~~~~

Cool stuff to know:  Allan Candy Halloween treats are all made in Canada and are peanut free – the line-up includes:  Allan Intense Jubes & Jellies, Allan Chewy Rascalz and Allan Fruit Buddies (look for Big Foot, Sour Big Foot, Green Thumbs and Hot Lips, as well as Sour Watermelon Slices, Peach Slices, Sour Cherry Slices, Tangy Wild Strawberries and Sour Grape Slices!)  You’ll find these selections at key retailers, including Wal-Mart and Loblaws.

Disclosure: I am participating in the Allan Candy Company program by Mom Central Canada.  I received compensation for my participation in this campaign.  The opinions on this blog are my own.

It is the time of year when I look at my children and marvel.

There will be birthdays, two.  There will be cakes, two.  There will quite possibly be pangs of the heart, many.

For my babies will turn seven and three this fall, and though two small lives are more than I ever thought I would create, it twists a bit in my stomach to know that they are both moving through these young months and years so quickly.

Time is a terrible, wonderful thing.  I am so addicted to their changes, to seeing newness light in their eyes, to their endlessly clever ways.  Yet, I miss the sweetness of the babies they once were.  My arms were full of sweet cheeks, soft blankets and pink toes many moons ago; now strong, brave, noisy children have taken their place.

Their voices mingle and mash, their energy swirls through the house.  Most days they take me along with them – for isn’t it easier to let the wave take you than fight the current once you have fallen in?

We spend years looking inward before we become parents, then as soon as we lay eyes on that newborn face it’s as though we suddenly see so clearly how much of our lives we will give so freely.

Looking down at one’s own path, looking inward, looking behind are pale stand-ins for looking forward, standing first before, then behind a child of your own.  Their horizons reach further than your own and you realize the ocean you are sailing suddenly has no shore.  You become them, they become their own and so on and so forth and if you are lucky, so it continues.

These wee creatures are already eyeing their own ships – who knew it would come so soon?  But I can see the twinkle and the future in their eyes.

An arm around one, the other snuggled on my lap.

We rock in calm seas, and I am overwhelmed at my good fortune.

Photo credit:  stock.xchg

Inspiration struck Toronto this past weekend, and I was lucky enough to be right in the middle of some of the smartest, most committed women in online media.

I attended Blissdom Canada ‘11 at the Hilton Toronto, and like last year, the anticipation ran high.  How could a meeting of this much heart and wisdom ever disappoint?

Sure enough, I was amazed by the creativity and passion by the writers, publishers, and public relations professionals who surrounded me.  I was inspired by women (and a few men!) smart enough to have gone ahead, and generous to reach back to share whatever they could to those who may come behind.

Let us hope that we never forget the importance of supporting one another in this space we share.  Never before have I enjoyed work in a landscape so overlapping in potential competition – yet, the leaders rising to the top are the ones most often seen reaching out, lifting others, and generally sharing what they can to ensure the rising of the collective success.

From panels that made us roar with laughter, to those that brought swift tears, to those who sparked inspiration on how to run our businesses better – we were treated to a generous buffet of knowledge.  Between each session, we shared meals, drinks, laughter, hugs, and discussed our work, our dreams, our plans.  I couldn’t begin to list the number of people who offered inspiration; be it great or small, each snippet will be tucked away and woven into what will come next.

We had a chance to be at our best, while simultaneously growing into more.  I worried – what might explode first, my heart or my head?

But this is when we are at our best, isn’t it?  For all the hours we spend at our computers, thankful am I for the chance to come out and listen, laugh and share.

If we are very lucky, this is one conference that will continue to grow and develop.  Was it perfect?  Probably not, and a lucky thing too, as none of the attendees were either.  Imagine the pressure!  I’m sure there will be criticism, suggestions for improvements, and requests for more, or different.  That’s okay – that’s how we all grow.  Let’s not forget how unique each attendee was, and how individual their thoughts, goals and dreams might be.  To address all of these from 300 attendees, all in two and a half days is an ambitious undertaking.  There is a give and take that goes on as we all learn, share and grow.  Perhaps there were sessions in which you learned a great deal – congratulations, you were able to take away wisdom and inspiration.  If you were in a session that shared knowledge some of which you already possess, then perhaps that was your moment to give to someone else.  Perhaps your discussions or questions or input will help someone else, just as the panelists and moderators were so generously willing to share their insights with us.

This conference is a special, growing thing.  We would do well to appreciate its graces, adore its most fetching traits and help improve it where we see room for improvement.

Enormous thanks to the organizers, the sponsors, the volunteers and all those attendees who bought tickets in good faith that a good thing would come back as good or better than it had been the first time we experienced it.

I’m leaving town with a full heart, an inspired mind.

And I’ll be back, every year Blissdom Canada will have me.

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Why did I come?

We all want to be real.

Will I know anyone?

Wait, I know you.

Will anyone know me?

I wanted to meet you too.

Laughter.

Who else can I find to meet?

Hugs.

More connections.

So that’s what her voice sounds like.

Who knew her eyes had such a spark?

Wait, someone else we know.

She lights up a room.

I didn’t know you were shy too.

Who knew she would blush when teased?

There she is.

She has the best laugh.

Why did I not know she had dimples?

I want to laugh every time she looks at me sideways.

More hugging.

She speaks so honestly.

Where did she come from?

We listen.

What is her story?

Applause.

We share meals, coffee, drinks, treats.

We keep talking.

Tell me more.

Who else can we include?

We keep laughing.

We make memories.

More hugging.

We say farewell.

We have become real.

I love when an idea strikes me out of the clear blue sky and I can just feel how it will come together.  I have one of those quirky brains that not only wants to plan what’s coming in the next moment, or the next day but will follow a random thought as far into the future as time will allow me.

Tell me you’re thinking of changing jobs?  I’ll have the next five years of your life mapped out and be just hoping you ask.

I can see anyone, doing anything.  Ask a question, I’ll have an answer. Or I’ll have an idea of how I’ll find an answer.  Or we’ll have a damn good time coming up with it together.

So it stands to reason that when answers don’t obediently line up in front of me, I start to feel the walls closing in.  If change lies ahead, bring it.  If decisions are coming, let’s make them and get moving.

Curiosity killed the cat.  Suspense may one day be the end of me.

I go from being a relatively calm person who jokes about stress and sleepless nights to a crazy person with one hand on the coffeepot and the other with nails in my palm.  I’m gritting my teeth waiting for the ball to drop.

I want answers.  I love answers.  I want to know what I’m talking about when I open my mouth.

Not that I always do.  But I like the forward movement of deciding, and acting, deciding and acting.

I want to know.  I always want to know.

The same thing is true of my writing.

I love to come to this place and share something I’ve decided or discovered. I want an idea to come and show itself to me, start to finish, allowing me to just write from A to B to C.

But what if I don’t know where A is, and B is running circles around me and nobody’s seen C around here in weeks.

I stop writing.  I can’t make the words go in straight lines.  And I’m a little scared of them when they go in circles.

But that’s not being real.  It’s not being honest.  And it’s certainly not being brave.

So, I’m here.  Writing words that go in circles.  And I’m sort of liking it.

In the absence of epic…I’m going to just start with the words.

Maybe I’ll write my way out of the crazy.

Stranger things have happened.

Photo credit:  stock.xchg

It’s not them, it’s you (gasp!)

This week I read a great post by Neil Hedley, about how some people fail to realize while it may feel better to blame others when things don’t go their way, at some point they need to take responsibility and realize – maybe it’s them.

Or, to quote him directly and change the perspective, “maybe it’s you.”

Maybe it wasn’t meant to be your opportunity. Maybe today isn’t your day. Maybe you just didn’t pull it off.

Maybe no one sabotaged you.  Maybe no one else made a mistake. Maybe, just maybe, the fault lies with you.

Did that sting a little?

Trust me, at one point or another, we have all been there.  We have felt the hurt, the disappointment.  We have seen the worst things we think of ourselves come true, we have lived our own shortcomings.

It can be awful.

But wait – hold on a second.

Tell me, who the hell decided perfection was our destination?

Who has the time and energy to be perfect at everything?

Not me.  Not you.  Not anyone I know.

So why are we trying?

When did we decide that we needed to always win? When did someone make a rule that we aren’t allowed to just say “it’s not in my skill set” or the more likely “I really suck at that”.

Facing our shortcomings is a hard skill to learn – but it’s sort of freeing once we grow enough that we can say “it’s not a strength of mine”.  I’m confident enough in my intelligence and capabilities to freely admit there are areas where I will never, ever excel.

Set goals, work hard, and aim for targets that make sense.  But don’t ever assume that you need to win everything you do, or that it’s not okay to fail.  Don’t spend your time or energy blaming others, or yourself when it happens.

What if we could free ourselves from blame altogether?  What if, instead of blaming others, or ourselves, we put that energy into the next opportunity?  What if we used that energy to find the opportunities that truly are a good fit for us, thereby increasing our chance of the success we wanted in the first place?

What if we could always remember that after every chance, a dozen more swiftly follow?  Every opportunity has more coming right behind it, if we open our minds to them.

What would you do?  How high would you reach?

There’s a quote I often hear about failure that I like:

“What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?”

But better yet…

“What would you attempt if you knew failure wasn’t the end of the world?”

Photo credit:  stock.xchg

Raw.

That’s the best word I can use to describe how we felt after the fateful events of September 11^th, ten years ago.  It was like having flesh torn away, leaving only pain and and open wounds behind.  And afterwards, just as it would be if something had been ripped from us; we ached and hurt.  It hurt to breathe, move, speak.  Our hearts’ healing would come, much later, but for many – the pain would linger.

For many of us, there would be so much distance it would hardly seem real.  Geographically we may have had space to disbelieve, to wish, to try to turn desperation into truth.  Those who had no choice but to face it head on felt the pain on deeper levels indeed.  We all lost something that day, but many losses were personal, enormous and lingering.  I lost security that day, perhaps some naiveté or some of the shelter that I hadn’t even realized was built around me from a lifetime of peace and safety.  But I did not lose family, friends, or watch my home fall under attack.

I went to bed last night with my heart aching – for the faraway pain of a city on its knees in memories, but again with the distance that my life affords me.  Though visiting New York City last year changed my perspective forever, I still did not lose the way others did.  Others who suffered losses of people, property or confidence in their personal safety lost so much more.  And to this day, that is what lingers.

Cities rebuild.  People lost are laid to rest and mourned.  A country stood up in mighty numbers to avenge the hurt.

But left behind is a wound that will never go away.  Forever, a population will remember the wound it suffered.  And it changes how we breathe, move, speak.  It gave a generation a close look at its vulnerability, and that both softens and hardens us.  Where will our hearts take us from here?

Forever, a country will remember learning how deeply it could be hurt, and how easily.  I keep thinking of a line that is often quoted about parenting.

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

~Elizabeth Stone

Ten years ago, a country, and indeed a continent, watched as its heart was opened to the world.  It felt the deepest wound.  And today, though ten years of healing have marked our path, our hearts and vulnerability will be exposed forever.

Some people say they will not spend this day any differently than others, because they remember every day.  That is theirs to claim, we all have our ways of reconciling events of this magnitude.  Still others are comforted by the marking of a day, an anniversary, and feel the need to reach out to others in words, hands to hold, voices coming together. There is no right answer, people live and love and hurt and grieve in their own ways, today is no different.  I have written of this day once before, but many years I have not, and that may feel right to me.

But the questions remain.  Will we heal, and harden?  Will ten years mark the end of an era?  Or can we accept our vulnerability and take our hearts forward into the future, stronger even as we acknowledge where we are still raw?

Photo credit:  stock.xchg

Two years ago I took a leap off a cliff, and with the support of some really wonderful people, managed to not perish miserably in the fall.

I started blogging.

Yes, this little corner of the internet that I call home came to life two years ago this week.  Maybe you began reading long ago.  You’ve been patient while I figured out what I might share, and how I should share it.

You’ve shared laughter, sadness and more truth with me than I ever could have hoped for.  If you’ve recently discovered this blog, I hope you feel the connection created here by the amazing people who come to read and share parts of themselves.  It’s a precious thing.

And what now?  Who knows?

I want to loosen things up, and just this week wrote my first review.  I had a lot of fun, and I hope to find more interesting things to share with you – but only if they fit with what we love around here.

I want to be more serious, and have loved the deep connection we’ve found over posts like Who celebrates you? and What makes you beautiful? and of course, What should you bring to a conference?

I have been honoured, and humbled by, recognition like this from Canadian Family.

“To get the truth,

you want to get your own heart to pound while you write.”

 - Robert McKee

That’s where I’ve found the place I really love.  There are many posts that I love to write and share, or that I feel have a place here but every so often when we all come here and just tell the truth – well, that’s a little bit of magic we don’t see in our average days.  As honest or genuine as we may be, it takes work to stop with surface things and bare a little bit of ourselves and say – me too.  Or, I wish.  Or…I regret.

So maybe as time goes on, we’ll find more ways to show our real hearts here in this space.  We’ll show sides of ourselves that we maybe keep hidden in our daily lives – those rare, precious, real parts of ourselves.

I’ve seen it happen, right here.  And it’s a damn beautiful thing.

Two years.  I feel very privileged indeed.

Photo credit:  stock.xchg