I’m sure you all have heard, but just in case I figured it was high time I get on here and explain just where the heck I went.  I know what you’re thinking:  Oh, sure.  Start a new blog.  Tell us how much you’re going to enjoy writing it.  Check back often!  The cheque’s in the mail!  Love your work!   

Actually, I’ve been a little under the weather the last few weeks.  Here’s the short version:  I got the flu, then the flu got me.  Ha ha.  A little flu humour for you there. 

The longer version?  I did actually have the flu.  Then the flu morphed into myositis, something that is like a flu getting into your muscles, lots of stiffness and aches.  Fine.  I know where the Motrin bottle lives.  But somehow the inflammation triggered an undiagnosed case of carpal tunnel syndrome and ta da!   Pain and burning in my hands and arms up to the elbows.  Imagine a world where you smash your funny bone….and then it happens again.  And again.  For days.  I will never make carpal tunnel jokes again.  This sucks, people. 

Enter the wrist splints.  They were originally just for sleeping but by day two as things got worse I started wearing them all the time.  That’s right, I get to be just this hot morning, noon, and night.  Take my word for it, they are VERY rock and roll.  Blech.  At least someone could make me some snazzy red and orange ones!  Or maybe chocolate brown?

I had so little use of my hands in the first few days that it was really difficult to look after my kids, which killed me.  And I was worried after that how I would manage to type (of course it didn’t occur to me how I might bathe, eat, scratch my…um, my nose.  Right.  How would I scratch my nose?  Who cares as long as I can work, tweet, email and blog?) 

Sigh.  Priorities.  I’ve cobbled together a reasonable facsimile of what I used to do.  The kids are doing okay, I got checked out by the doc to rule out anything more serious, and now all I can do is wait.  And take Motrin.  I’m keeping up with the most important things, and slowly adding other items back to the list.  I’m learning what I can and can’t do.  Hubs is pitching in around the house, not that he doesn’t usually, but he’s doing more.  And I found the right dosage for the ibuprofen.  I’m definitely doing better than I was last week. 

In the meantime, I’m starting to have some fun with it.  Today on Twitter we came up with some great fake stories to explain away my splints should people ask.  (I had gotten the “Did you fall?” question just a few too many times.)  People suggested everything from bowling injuries, covering my web spinners, punting injuries from Venice, fighting with ninjas over caramel lattes, double burns from a chocolate fondue to cow milking.  I am now much better prepared should anyone ask what happened.

Have no fear.  I’ll be back, with bells on.  Ooh!  Red and orange splints with bells on them!  Now that would be awesome.  Just kidding.  I’ll settle for having it all fade away over the next week or two.  Cross your fingers for me, okay?  Because I really can’t do that yet.  ; )