Who celebrates you?

I’ve had something brewing in my mind for a while, about women.  Not about how we mother our children or balance our day to day lives parenting, filling our days with whatever work we choose, and all the other responsibilities we juggle.

No, today I want to talk about women, and how we relate to one another.  How we support one another, lift one another up, celebrate each other….or don’t.

I spend a fair amount of time online, and have built many relationships that allow me the privilege of a window into many lives.  News, good and bad, is shared in this space.  Emotions, good and bad, are also shared in this space.  It can be wonderful, to see so many people relating to one another in real time…but one thing distresses me.   There is an undercurrent of resentment that breeds and grows in the dark corners, in the unaddressed areas of our friendships.  And we are ignoring it.  Accepting it, even, when we let it slide without comment. 

Tell me if you have heard any of the following:

 “I think maybe she was just jealous.”

 “I was so happy about my news, but then one friend was really negative about it.  It was like she couldn’t even be happy for me.”

“I don’t even bother to tell her good news anymore.”

Really?  Are we accepting this?  Sharing time with people that make us feel like this?

It’s time to stop.  Stop accepting anything less than amazing.  Stop being anything less than amazing.

I am here to say, STOP.  And don’t tell me that’s just what women are like.  I look around my inner circle, my touchstones of friendship and warm, happy acquaintance and I call bullshit.  Ask me to name names of women who have been supportive of me, who have encouraged me, who have inspired me and I’ll tell you to pour us a cup of coffee, we’re going to be here a while.

Smart, funny, fabulous, inspiring, successful women are everywhere and surrounding yourself with them is one of the wisest things you might ever do.  The women in my circle who are busy doing amazing things are the ones who are fastest to come to my side and cheer me on, say kind words or make me feel appreciated.  And when I’m around them, I’m the best version of myself you’re ever going to see.

Think about the last time you had really amazing news to share.

Who celebrated you?  Who lifted you up, told the world how great you are and physically, virtually and in all other ways just hugged your awesomeness, without any guilt or jealousy?

Now think of the last five friends who encouraged you, complimented you or somehow out of the blue made you feel like a million bucks?

If you are smiling, nodding along with me, take a moment to appreciate the circle you have created for yourself.  THESE are the people you want around you.  They are the ones who are willing to laugh, cry, share, push, pull and FIGHT for their girlfriends.  They are one of the greatest gifts we women have.

Never, ever should we take them for granted.  Never, ever should we stop returning the kindness.  And never, ever should we stop building a wider and wider circle of supportive, caring, loving girlfriends. 

It’s time for women to band together, to put a foot in the ass of any of the judgement, the pettiness, the meanness and say…there isn’t room in this town for you and all the awesome.

And we choose awesome.

Don’t we?