I’ve been doing that thing again.
The hiding out and not writing thing. Keeping things all locked up because I have been too busy to get the words out.
Actually, I haven’t been hiding. Mostly, I’ve been busy – busy thinking, organizing, making some decisions. It can be hard to have my brain so full of things I’m not ready or able to share. None of the plans or ideas are fully formed enough to take a place on a page, yet truthfully they are occupying most every brain cell I have.
Well, every brain cell that’s been working anyway. The last few months have been complicated by more than our normal share of early spring colds. I got sick, our three year old got sick and then we were off and running with strep throat, mysterious coughing and far too little sleep between the two of us. It never troubles me when my kids or I are sick, I just consider it part of the routine, but I don’t enjoy illness that lingers, nor do I like worry to eat away at the edges of our daily life.
But then the weeks went on, the sun came out and spring finally brought relief. We grew healthy again and jumped back into life. And so life has gone on.
(I won’t mention how high the cabin fever rages when mama is sick for damn near four months and the preschooler two months of the four. Well, not today. Maybe tomorrow. Or another day. Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty…nor was it pleasant.)
So what did you miss? The kids seem to have sprouted again and are surprising me every day with how fast they are growing up. I’m often caught unawares as they run at me, full speed, all arms and legs and bony knees. They are certain I will always catch them, no matter what. I love them fiercely for their faith in me. And fervently I wish for arms strong enough for the years ahead.
The school year is ending well for our second grader – he’s spent another year content and happy with good friends. Our three year old started daycare, embraced her new little friends with open arms and happily jumped into her new morning routine. I love how easily they get through their days away from us. They are not angels, they are not perfect kids, but it does my heart good to see them doing well in their days, without struggle.
We save all the drama for home, really we do. If I ever figure out what that’s all about, I promise I’ll share it. These darling children who float through their days, mesh happily with their playmates and listen respectfully to their teacher and caregiver come home to test our patience daily.
But this is what it is to be a kid, yes?
And me? Well, I’ve been heart busy and brain busy and busy getting well on top of all the rest of it. I know it’s time to elbow my way back in here and get back to writing and sharing. I’m working on it.
You don’t mind if I don’t quite have all the answers yet? I’ll make you a deal…I’ll do some unlocking and unravelling, and you give me a little room for being muddled or undecided about things.
In the meantime, there’s always stuff going on, the kids are beautiful, busy and crazy – and I have plenty to share if I stop being silly about it.
Much more to come…